A note to the reader:
This post was written independently of Sara’s Mohai, with only the knowledge that we would write letters to each other to commemorate my solo journey on the blog. I apologize if the content reads the same, but I leave the post here as a tribute to the beautiful magic that occurs when you meet a kindred spirit who knows your soul.
It is my greatest hope that this blog spark your own journey in connecting with yourself and your kindred.
If I’m being honest, my first trip to Hawaii, I was running away from my life. I had just started grad school and was struggling with the reality that it was nothing like what I thought I had been working for. I found a mentor who helped me sort through some dark, ugly inner stuff and when I heard she was leading a retreat to Big Island, Hawaii to swim with wild dolphins, I immediately signed up.
With no exaggeration, this trip changed my life. In the healing ocean waters, swimming with these beautiful creatures, I found a clarity and passion within myself that I had long been searching for. I’ve been traveling back to Hawaii every year since to recharge, realign and reconnect with my inner wisdom on the Island’s sacred land.
My last 2 trips though, have been less about self discovery and more about fun. I brought my fiancée to visit the place I eventually see us moving to, and most recently, brought my first friends-as-clients (you!) on your dream getaway.
Today, I leave for Hawaii again, but as a solo traveler in search of some respite from a life that though I am grateful for, has been a little crazy. (Who gets married, buys a home, adopts a puppy and starts a business in the span of 3 months?!). There is an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu, sitting in the airport feeling in the same place I was 8 years ago, kind of running away. Even more unsettling is a fear of being in Hawaii alone, though it’s something I have done before (and in other countries too). And here I thought I had grown.
Perhaps I have become complacent. Used to the safety that my relationships provide and taking for granted that I am lucky enough to travel to the Island every year. I try to connect to the giddy excitement I felt 8 years ago, but I can’t. I guess that means I’ve changed, but have I lost some of my adventurous spirit too? Did I let the demands of a busy life distance me from my soul? Is that the reality too difficult to face?
Whatever it is that I’m moving through, I am trying to stay present with it, because isn’t that what soul searching is for? I take solace in a deeper knowing that the island will provide exactly what I need, even if it’s uncomfortable. Missing you, but trying to trust the universe has a plan for us both. Wish me luck!